Grief Dancer

Source of picture https://chocolatefactorytheater.org/trina_mannino_ivy_baldwin/

Poem by Paulette Robinson

I dance through and in
the rhythms of grief
spinning and swirling
with changing tempos, volumes, and sounds.

Dressed in long strips
of black, grey and white chiffon
that float like clouds
when I spin and twirl madly expanding and…
when I fall to the earth collapsed and buried around me

Slowly with lethargy
I dance…
swaying
engulfed in loss
with rocking movements
hoping to soothe and comfort
the void of the beloved
that has slipped away
leaving a hole of deep longing.

From the cold fire of a tempo
filled with heartbeats
pounding against my eardrums
persistent thumping
calling me back to life’s rhythm
I feel the full impact
of the pain stabbing deep then…
welling up
from the guts of my soul
Wailing in a movement
where my body is transformed
from small lethargic momentum
to the convulsing deep broad up and down
contractions and expansions
of grief brought forth and born to the world.

Exhausted from the purge of grief’s expression outward
I draw inward once again
contracting and gathering small movements
into why me?
why now?
what does it mean?

The dance of grief gains momentum
moving in grand gestures of expansion
swirling upward
into the language of praise
for the beloved
gone yet etched into
my body memory
cherished then released

I start the dance again.