Waiting is … Sitting In

I wait

I wait
caught between moments
sitting in …
A now … pregnant with promise
something is coming
something awaits
out there… somewhere
I try to shape the edges
of mystery
of possibility
of change
Resisting yet reaching out
Tomorrow must be better
One step forward
into each moment
sitting in
yearning forward
I wait…

• Have you asked yourself, “why wait?”

• Have you found yourself impatient with waiting?

• Have you tried to by-pass waiting and push ahead with regret? 

• What value could waiting possibly have?

In our culture of instant gratification, waiting is often perceived as a waste of time.  Something to avoid.  Something to feel impatient with.  Yet, I find myself so often wondering… what is waiting? 

What is waiting?

Waiting is “sitting in.”  It is an internal place.  It is a type of active stillness that resides most deeply in the place of the formless and a caldron of possibilities. It is a place where “I am being” without masks or roles. “I am this… or I am that” stands outside ready to be seen.  Waiting can feel like a stuck-ness.  A dark night where the soul yearns for the presence of spirit… guiding, moving, expanding.  It is a darkness where the edges of life seem to be invisible.  I don’t feel or sense spirit.  There is a deep longing that seems to be held in the place.

Why do I wait?

I thought that when I wait it is a place of nothingness.  A type of sitting into but not moving.  But as I explored this space of waiting, I discovered there is a series of tasks in the silence and sitting in.  

1. It begins with a “gathering in.” I gather into my heart.  It is the beginning of the internal call. It is the place where a fullness of life and manifesting is gathered in to ponder and construct meaning.

2. The next dimension of waiting is a “sorting through.” This is where profound healing occurs. It is a place where trauma and old patterns are seen and the deepest secrets hidden from myself are revealed. Ways of living that have outlived their service become clear. Spaces are created for new things to unfold.

3. After I sort, I release. The “letting go” of things, energies that are held too closely…that no longer serve. The wounding that keeps me separate from the Divine Source.

4. Finally, “settling In” to a space that is cleared. It is a place where I want to live, a type of contentment settles in. When I sense this place of contentment or arrival within myself is often followed by a push of a “movement toward.”  It is an energetic impetus to create and manifest in the external world. It is a movement from the formless state of all possibilities where the edges of life and spirit are unclear to a clarity of purpose and direction of creation.

How can I get out?

1. It isn’t a place to escape but to embrace. It is part of a process of co-creation and spiritual expansion.

2. Do your personal shadow energetic work.

   1. Clear out and transmute past trauma in this life and past lives healing the dark places in yourself.

   2. Resolve and balance family systems and be at peace across generations.

3. Meditate and pray even though it feels without purpose.

4. Spend time in silence and in nature. These powerful forces bring integration.

5. Celebrate and be grateful.

In praise of waiting…

I wait
Sitting in the deepening.
Opening to the deepening.
Celebrating the deepening.
I wait
In silence
Praising spirit for my awakening.